I am
pretty sure I have experienced microaggressions throughout my life. However, I can vividly recall the experiences
with my daughter better. There is
one particular incident that I can recall when my oldest daughter was about 2 years
old. My husband and I were in Belk, and
we were having a conversation with my daughter like we always do. An older Caucasian woman kept following us
and staring at us. She made us feel
weird because we couldn’t figure out why she was staring at us. After about 5-10 minutes of staring at us, she
came over to us said that she noticed my daughter spoke so well and that she
was so nicely dressed. This lady really
looked and sounded very shock that an African American child could speak and
dress so well. She didn’t say it, but her facial expression and wording said it
all. My husband and I told her we wouldn’t
have it any other way. We told her that
we never talked “baby” talk with her, and we have always used correct English
with her. We advised her that we make sure she is well dressed where ever we go. This is one thing both of our parents taught
us. When you go out you are representing yourself and your parents and don’t go
anywhere looking a mess. My mom always
said even if you have on jeans and a t-shirt make sure your hair is combed
whenever you go out because you never know who you may run into. My husband and I get comments like those all
the time with both of our daughters. I
guess society plays a major part in how African American children are viewed as
always speaking “slang” or not being dressed appropriately. In today’s society it’s sad to see that
people still see race as being a factor when it comes to a person’s speech,
intelligence or the way they dress. As I reflect on this week’s information on
microaggressions, I feel we must work together as a society to eliminate
stereotypes such as these.
Candice,
ReplyDeleteIn my blog I wrote about a similar experience with an older white woman shocked at my speech. It's so confusing initially wondering why is it so shocking that I can speak well, but then you think of all the stereotypes that are plastered to your race and understand why. I think people of that generation are more likely to be in shock of how well we speak and dress because they grew up during a time where we weren't afforded the opportunities to be better.
Wow, unfortunately very seldom black people are portrayed in the media as educated people. Look at the news for example 9 out 10 times you see a black person on television its for something they have done wrong. How many times can you turn on the television or internet and see where we have accomplish something or become wealthy business owes. And if it did make the headlines it only last a day or two the most.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time we are to blame. A lot of our people portray this live style that influence our young people. This allows others who want to see us fail, to celebrate and broadcast the downside of black people.
Hi Candice,
ReplyDeleteLike you I was raised with the same values your mom instilled in you. I've also had similar experiences regarding my children in that matter as well. I just take the compliment and keep going. Ignorance is bliss and as we've learned this week these comments are unintentional so maybe we (I) should work on not taking things to personal. It's unfortunate that we live in a world like this.
Yes Canice,
ReplyDeleteAs Gorski so clearly pointed out, in our culture there are differences in our values and behaviors, just like any other culture. I'm sure her comments were of an unintentional microinsult nature but I am also sure she hopefully learned a lesson about the differences in other cultural groups as well that perhaps changed her life forever.
And lt's interesting to me that others, like you and myself for example, were taught the same thing when it comes to language and look where we are today -- I love high standards, don't you?
Reference
Gorski, P. (2008). The myth of the "culture of poverty."
Educational Leadership, 65(7), 32—36.
Yes Canice,
ReplyDeleteAs Gorski so clearly pointed out, in our culture there are differences in our values and behaviors, just like any other culture. I'm sure her comments were of an unintentional microinsult nature but I am also sure she hopefully learned a lesson about the differences in other cultural groups as well that perhaps changed her life forever.
And lt's interesting to me that others, like you and myself for example, were taught the same thing when it comes to language and look where we are today -- I love high standards, don't you?
Reference
Gorski, P. (2008). The myth of the "culture of poverty."
Educational Leadership, 65(7), 32—36.
I had a black teacher to tell me that my son (black) spoke well. It was an all black school but I guess a lot of the kids in the school did not speak as well. I guess they spoke slang.
ReplyDelete